you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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