i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
