We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
