Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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