So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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