i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
