Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
