He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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