i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
