mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
