Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
