Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
