Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
