He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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