I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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