We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
whose parrot is this?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize