On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
