is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you win again, gameday.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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