If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
