have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
