she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
