I just saw a hot homeless man
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
