is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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