What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
