she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
