do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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