Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
