is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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