He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
