And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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