I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
