Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
