How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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