remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize