Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
