I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
