Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
