It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
