we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
