i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize