I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
