At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize