How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
