Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
