she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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