Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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