i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
