He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
