So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize