It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
