My pussy is not your playground.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
