That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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