how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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