Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
