do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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