never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
