Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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