God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
